Caught Between the Tides

This semester surely has taken its toll on me. Academically speaking, there has been a little bit of trouble with certain subjects. That's not a problem I'm worried about.

What I'm really worried about is that eternal fight going on inside of me.

Though I know my moral compass and ethics are perfectly founded, all my characters have a different scale of values and perspectives on reality. This, in turn, affects their actions and how they perceive the world through my eyes. Although all of them do constantly argue among them, there are two characters arguing between them and dragging me down with them: Eltiask and Aiden.

Both of them classify themselves as murderers, but each one has different reasons. Eltiask, for example, states that his killing had been triggered by his survival instinct after all those experiments he suffered. This was the main reason why he had gone into a killing spree, yet he was able to regain control of his life later on. Aiden, on the other hand,  enjoys killing people. It's his way of defying both Fate and Death: he's the one plotting the date and day of each of his targets' demise. It is him who plans and executes everything needed in order to end their lives. As you can see, both have different perspectives on their killings.

But this is not all.

Aiden happens to be a well-known ER physician (what I'm planning to do later on as medic) as well as war veteran. He's absolutely skilfull when it comes down to medical emergencies due to his cold and tempered mind. His analytical approach to emergency situations has led him to be one of the best in any hospital he works for. However, his soul is cold and half dead due to past situations I can't reveal.

As if this wasn't enough, Aiden likes toying with my reality. He's messing up with what I know is real and what I would like to be real. Also, he's made appear a cameo of me in his own story. This is what definitely disturbs me. He's toying with me. Worst part is that he knows I'm struggling to handle that.

As of right now, I've been able to keep control of this whole situation. However, I'm not sure how it is going to end (if it ever ends) at all.